So far we have discussed settling in to Mayfair and visiting Fordsburg. The next step was to get accustomed to Johannesburg's terrible traffic, especially getting from home to work and back. Joburgs traffic is horrible. Unlike Pietermaritzburg, where no matter where you are, to get from one end of town to the other takes a maximum of 20 minutes, Joburg's traffic could take anything from 20 minutes to 4 hours if you get yourself in a traffic jam.
For 4 years, I travelled what I termed the "Long Drive To Freedom"- Johannesburg to Pretoria (about 60 Km's) using the M1 North and South. This is probably one of the busiest if not thee busiest highway in the country. The shortest it ever took me was around 35 minutes, and this was during a school holiday, the worst took 4 hours(Hey, I could have returned to Pietermaritzburg with this timeline) when I was once stuck in a traffic jam caused by an accident, but on average I faced 1 Hour going and coming.
Gautrain
Then came the Gautrain. The Gautrain initially commenced from Rosebank which did not pan out for me as I was in the Mayfair area. Then finally around June 2012, the Park Station route was opened. The Gautrain is truly world class. It gets you to and from Pretoria bypassing all the traffic jams in 42 minutes, it is absolutely clean and the stations, including the parking lot is packed with security guards keeping you safe. Using it for over 2 years, there was only one bad experience which took place in July 2012. I remember calling my family from Centurion station informing them I will be home in about 40 minutes. As we passed Rosebank, the train suddenly came to a halt and we ended up waiting in the train for about 1 hour at the most. Cellphones do not work whilst you are underground, so I couldn't call home. My family was scared as maybe I was hijacked or something worst and ended up coming to the station looking for me but it was all good in the end. The good part was we were able to take a sneak peak at the cockpit and the inside of the tunnel as seen in the pictures above. After a few weeks of travelling on it, the novelty wears off and it becomes your everyday "bus" to work. A few observations were made. Firstly one could just tell a regular from a novice. The novices are always taking pictures or tend to ask you "Is this the train to Pretoria or Johanessburg" . You often feel like giving the enquirer a quick "Duh' but then you realize you were just as doff when you started using it. Second, when I first started taking the train from Park, there were very few people in it until you reached Rosebank. Towards January, February 2014, there were times I needed to stand in the train on this leg of the route. Thirdly, there are so many friendly dudes travelling on it. I cannot count the amount of new friendships made. In this case a 42 minute ride feels like 5 minutes.
For most of us through, the Gautrain is not an option so newcomers to Johannesburg often ask me, what are some of your tips when driving in Johannesburg:
Lost In Johannesburg
The best advice I can give to anyone is to invest in a GPS device. The R 1-2000 you pay, will most certainly pay itself off by getting you to where you need to quickly without getting off your car. If you cannot afford to get one, a petrol attendant is your next best bet. They seem to know all the short cuts and get you to your destination quickly. The only advice I can give you with regards to the GPS, and this knowledge comes after a few months of living in Joburg is to check the directions it provides. I was once travelling from Midrand back to Mayfair, using the GPS, I ended up driving through Hillbrow during peak hour when I could have taken a few other routes. A very scary experience.
Listen To The Morning News
Most radio stations regularly broadcast traffic updates in the morning and afternoon. If you hear that there is an accident or serious traffic jam, try and find and alternative route to work. You can do this using your GPS, speaking to petrol attendants or asking your friends and family.
Traffic Jam Caused By Rain Or Accident
The number one rule is to remain calm. No matter what you do, you are stuck. I remember travelling to Pretoria once and ended up in a traffic jam. As we passed the dude creating the jam, I remember sticking my head out to swear him and saw it was my work colleague and stopped to help. I also remember once showing the middle finger to someone who almost knocked me, when I saw it was my boss, you quickly look the other way. So rule number 2, don't swear anyone as it could one day be you or someone you know. One of the best past times travelling the Golden Mile was to listen to audio books. Audio books are electronic records of books normally recited by the author. During my 3.5 years, I must have "heard" over 20 books expanding my knowledge and vocabulary. Other things you can do is listen to some good music or else just simply listen to the radio. My favorite station is Jackaranda FM, but a lot of others listen to Highveld or 702. Using the principle of different strokes for different folks, the best is to listen to them all and find what is best for you.
Gridlocked in Traffic and Low On Fuel
I am sure that all of us at some point in time were driving and suddenly you hear a sharp Beep. Oh No, Petrol Is Low. The best advice I can give you is to simply pull over in this context, relax on the side of the road and when the traffic begins to flow, rejoin and find the nearest petrol station. I also think this is the best thing to do even if you are not low on fuel. Sitting Gridlocked in traffic is frustrating and sometimes you can sit for an hour and not move. The best is to judge the traffic flow and make a decision.
What To Do If You Have No Fuel
Firstly, dont expect any fellow motorist to help you unless he knows you. You are on your own. I remember once travelling home from Pretoria when suddenly my reserve light went on. I figured I had maybe 20 Kms worth of fuel left, a few minutes later, the light went off. I assumed that maybe it was just the balancing of the car, "Yay I am Safe" but as I approached Smit Street, my car suddenly switched off. Luckily, I managed to pull over, tried and tried again but the car refused to start. Being stuck is a bit embarrassing. As traffic is slow, almost everyone looks at you and you feel like krap. Here are my suggestions while you wait for someone to bring some petrol:
Option A: Put your bonnet up and sit in your car(I rather have dudes think my car packed up than to think I had no fuel-Bit Embarassing) Option B: Play with your cellphone and don't look to the right. Option C: Recline your car seat and have a good sleep. Option D: Sit in the back seat and turn your body away so that you back faces the window.
Don't Smoke With Your Window Open In JHB CBD
I remember driving in the Joburg city centre once, enjoying a good smoke at an intersection with my window open. Suddenly out of nowhere this dude comes to my window jamming it such that I couldn't lift it up with a knife on my throat demanding my phone and wallet. This is not a nice experience. If you lucky and have a sunroof let it out through there, otherwise, try not to smoke whilst driving.
Then came the Gautrain. The Gautrain initially commenced from Rosebank which did not pan out for me as I was in the Mayfair area. Then finally around June 2012, the Park Station route was opened. The Gautrain is truly world class. It gets you to and from Pretoria bypassing all the traffic jams in 42 minutes, it is absolutely clean and the stations, including the parking lot is packed with security guards keeping you safe. Using it for over 2 years, there was only one bad experience which took place in July 2012. I remember calling my family from Centurion station informing them I will be home in about 40 minutes. As we passed Rosebank, the train suddenly came to a halt and we ended up waiting in the train for about 1 hour at the most. Cellphones do not work whilst you are underground, so I couldn't call home. My family was scared as maybe I was hijacked or something worst and ended up coming to the station looking for me but it was all good in the end. The good part was we were able to take a sneak peak at the cockpit and the inside of the tunnel as seen in the pictures above. After a few weeks of travelling on it, the novelty wears off and it becomes your everyday "bus" to work. A few observations were made. Firstly one could just tell a regular from a novice. The novices are always taking pictures or tend to ask you "Is this the train to Pretoria or Johanessburg" . You often feel like giving the enquirer a quick "Duh' but then you realize you were just as doff when you started using it. Second, when I first started taking the train from Park, there were very few people in it until you reached Rosebank. Towards January, February 2014, there were times I needed to stand in the train on this leg of the route. Thirdly, there are so many friendly dudes travelling on it. I cannot count the amount of new friendships made. In this case a 42 minute ride feels like 5 minutes.
For most of us through, the Gautrain is not an option so newcomers to Johannesburg often ask me, what are some of your tips when driving in Johannesburg:
Lost In Johannesburg
The best advice I can give to anyone is to invest in a GPS device. The R 1-2000 you pay, will most certainly pay itself off by getting you to where you need to quickly without getting off your car. If you cannot afford to get one, a petrol attendant is your next best bet. They seem to know all the short cuts and get you to your destination quickly. The only advice I can give you with regards to the GPS, and this knowledge comes after a few months of living in Joburg is to check the directions it provides. I was once travelling from Midrand back to Mayfair, using the GPS, I ended up driving through Hillbrow during peak hour when I could have taken a few other routes. A very scary experience.
Listen To The Morning News
Most radio stations regularly broadcast traffic updates in the morning and afternoon. If you hear that there is an accident or serious traffic jam, try and find and alternative route to work. You can do this using your GPS, speaking to petrol attendants or asking your friends and family.
Traffic Jam Caused By Rain Or Accident
The number one rule is to remain calm. No matter what you do, you are stuck. I remember travelling to Pretoria once and ended up in a traffic jam. As we passed the dude creating the jam, I remember sticking my head out to swear him and saw it was my work colleague and stopped to help. I also remember once showing the middle finger to someone who almost knocked me, when I saw it was my boss, you quickly look the other way. So rule number 2, don't swear anyone as it could one day be you or someone you know. One of the best past times travelling the Golden Mile was to listen to audio books. Audio books are electronic records of books normally recited by the author. During my 3.5 years, I must have "heard" over 20 books expanding my knowledge and vocabulary. Other things you can do is listen to some good music or else just simply listen to the radio. My favorite station is Jackaranda FM, but a lot of others listen to Highveld or 702. Using the principle of different strokes for different folks, the best is to listen to them all and find what is best for you.
Gridlocked in Traffic and Low On Fuel
I am sure that all of us at some point in time were driving and suddenly you hear a sharp Beep. Oh No, Petrol Is Low. The best advice I can give you is to simply pull over in this context, relax on the side of the road and when the traffic begins to flow, rejoin and find the nearest petrol station. I also think this is the best thing to do even if you are not low on fuel. Sitting Gridlocked in traffic is frustrating and sometimes you can sit for an hour and not move. The best is to judge the traffic flow and make a decision.
What To Do If You Have No Fuel
Firstly, dont expect any fellow motorist to help you unless he knows you. You are on your own. I remember once travelling home from Pretoria when suddenly my reserve light went on. I figured I had maybe 20 Kms worth of fuel left, a few minutes later, the light went off. I assumed that maybe it was just the balancing of the car, "Yay I am Safe" but as I approached Smit Street, my car suddenly switched off. Luckily, I managed to pull over, tried and tried again but the car refused to start. Being stuck is a bit embarrassing. As traffic is slow, almost everyone looks at you and you feel like krap. Here are my suggestions while you wait for someone to bring some petrol:
Option A: Put your bonnet up and sit in your car(I rather have dudes think my car packed up than to think I had no fuel-Bit Embarassing) Option B: Play with your cellphone and don't look to the right. Option C: Recline your car seat and have a good sleep. Option D: Sit in the back seat and turn your body away so that you back faces the window.
Don't Smoke With Your Window Open In JHB CBD
I remember driving in the Joburg city centre once, enjoying a good smoke at an intersection with my window open. Suddenly out of nowhere this dude comes to my window jamming it such that I couldn't lift it up with a knife on my throat demanding my phone and wallet. This is not a nice experience. If you lucky and have a sunroof let it out through there, otherwise, try not to smoke whilst driving.